Divine Affirmation

I have only been preaching at my own churches for the past five months, but there are some times that you stand behind the pulpit, you have studied and prayed and rehearsed your sermon until you need no notes, and then you stand in front of the congregation and give the message that God has placed on your heart and as you are speaking, you wonder, "Do I really know what I am doing?  Are the words that I am speaking make sense?  These words that are coming from my mouth are not the words that I planned to say.  Where did all that come from?".  The enemy tries to discourage you even as the words are flowing ever-so smoothly from your mouth, not your words, but those given by the Holy Spirit.  Still, after the sermon, you wonder if you reached someone....anyone!   Sure, you get the "great job" handshake at the end of the sermon, and you don't need any affermation nor want any, but it is nice to get that Holy Spirit affirmation from time to time.

Several hours after I preached on Sunday, I recieved an email.  This older gentleman, very introverted and antsy, had written me.  He told me that the message had really touched him and reminded him to be thankful for even the little things.  I am not normally touched by showings of appreciation for preaching, because I would never want to be or appear to be a man of pride, but considering this man and his background, I realized that I had helped him break down a wall of disillusion in his life.  It wasn't anything that I did, really..  It was what the Holy Spirit did through me.  I have been so overcome with emotion the past few weeks, as people have anonymously written me letters of appreciation, left anonymous cards with money, and asked to speak to me in private, to tell me their salvation story and share private details of life with me.  I am so humbled by their appreciation, but it is those "certain people" for whom have had walls buillt up and I've seen them knocked over!  It is like the Holy Spirit is giving me this warm hug and pat on the back, telling me that I am right where I need to be! 

Perhaps it is my personality as an INFJ personality type to be too hard on myself.  Perhaps it is that and a combination of the enemy trying to test me.  I have never been discouraged to the point of quitting.  But I have never been so moved as I have over the past month, to see spiritual transformation going on at a rapid pace.  I am excited about this calling!  The people seem to feed off of that excitement.  God is really moving in this congregation and in my other church!  I don't know what is going to happen, but He does, and we all feel it.  You just can't beat that affirmation from above that you feel when you see transformation and the people are experiencing it too! 

Maybe this note makes little to no sense at all.  Maybe it's just a blabber of words to some.  To me, it's a note saying, "God is so good!".  He is doing some amazing things in my churches and in my life!  Praise Him for the "divine affirmation" that He gives us as we seek to follow Him and be a vessel by which He can accomplish much on this earth!